FairyTale
by hpets
Summary: The crew of the Enterprise find themselves in the most unusual situations, but this one might just take the cake. Jim is the captain of the freaking Enterprise not bloody Cinderella. Spock/Jim


An: Hello people here is a story I just couldn't resist writing. Hope you enjoy

_Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek 2009 or anything else connected to the Star Trek franchise. _

FAIRYTALE

Jim's eyes blinked open as he jolted up suddenly aware he was not where he was supposed to be. The last thing he remembered was the bridge of the Enterprise the view screen depicting the calm starry expanse of space. And the Enterprise never had been and never would be built of wood and stone.

The room he found himself in was dusty and sent a chill down his back as he threw off the blankets covering him. The fire place was full of cinders from a recently extinguished fire and the mantle was stacked hi with various pots and pans some metal others clay.

He shook his head trying to dispel the images hoping to come back to the present and end this ridiculous dream. But shaking his head meant he looked down and looking down meant he saw his cloth cover legs. Cloth that instead of splitting in the middle to rap around his individual legs draped over them ending an inch from the floor.

'He was in a bloody dress' he thought jumping from the bed in agitation instantly tripping over the long hem as he took a step.

Groaning he sat up rubbing at his head where it had connected with side of the large table taking up most of the room. The pain unfortunately informed him this wasn't some sick twisted dream his genius mind had decided to torture him with. Instead it was someone else who thought it funny to torture him by putting him in a freaking dress.

Standing up he brushed the ciders and dust from his, skirt. The room he finally realized as he got over the whole dress thing was a kitchen. The many utensils and primitive oven set next to the fire confirmed he's conclusion as he made his way to the only window looking out at a paved courtyard, a vegetable patch at the far side.

And then a tiny bundle of yellow feathers collided with his face.

"What the hell!" Jim exclaimed jerking backwards, hitting the table once again. The hardwood biting into his back.

"Keptain, Keptain, Kaptin," Squawked the bird in a high-pitched Russian accent, beating its wings in his face to stay airborne.

Jim stare taking in the golden hued feathers curled slightly at the ends and the beady brown eyes, "Chekov, is that you?"

"Aye Keptain," the bird confirm, perching on his finger as he automatically held it out.

"Chekov," Jim confirmed eyeing the bird properly now that he had stopped flapping in his face, "Any reason why you're a bird?"

"I do not know Keptain, I woke up like this," The bird chirped tone a little closer the Chekov normal.

"Yeah and I woke up like this," Jim mumbled trying not to draw too much focus on the dress.

"Do you know what is happening?," Chekov questioned him his little chirps betraying how freaked out he was about being a bird.

"I don't know," Jim replied voice grim but determine, "But I will find out."

Then as Jim made the decision to leave the confines of his little kitchen his adventure was cut short as a clutter came from the pantry. Great blooms of flour filled the air as he opened the doors. Chekov took to the air making it so much worst as Jim coughed jumping backwards to get out of the white cloud.

"Face me devil," Squeaked an all too familiar voice as a tiny sword was banished into the air swirling the dust even further.

Jim couldn't help but laugh as the flour finally settled and he caught sight of a mouse. But not just any mouse, no. This mouse had a belt slung over his shoulder complete with scarab and a tiny-feathered hat upon his head.

"What's so funny," Chekov demanded flying back through the window looking around the room.

Jim could only point as he burst into a renewed fit of stifled laughter. The mouse's tiny pink noise twitched in annoyance and shook himself to dislodge the flour covering his fur.

"It's not funny," Squeaked the mouse sliding his sword back into it sheath as he recognized Jim.

"Sulu?" Chekov asked trying to suppress his own twittering laugh.

"Yeah and?!" Sulu tried to growl back little paws going to furred hips.

"And I thought waking up in a dress was bad," Jim managed between his purls of laughter grabbing a scrap of cloth from the table to throw at Sulu, "You might want to use that to get some of the flour off."

"Thanks," Sulu managed the best monotone any mouse was capable of, "You might want to clean up yourself," he continued indicating Jim's own state of powdered white.

"Right," Jim said composing himself as he shook the flour from his hair, "You got any idea where here is?"

"I was in a cupboard and now I'm a mouse," Sulu replied tossing the cloth aside as he brushed the last of the flour out of his fur.

"Yeah," Jim tired not to grin, "Well we best get out of here and find some answers."

Chekov nodded landing on Jim's shoulder. But once again they were thwarted as they made for the outside world.

Three crazy eyed and considerably ugly women burst through the door, that Jim could just see lead into a house of some kind.

"Where have you been?" "What's this mess?" "Where is my breakfast?" Screeched all three women at once causing Jim's ears to ring.

"Cinderella," Screeched the eldest saggiest looking woman stepping forward when Jim didn't reply, "You have not prepared our breakfast and I find this kitchen a mess. You are not worthy to be in this house!"

"I um," Jim managed wiggling a finger in his ear trying to relieve his sudden deafness.

"You must wash my dress!" demanded one of the Youngers ones shoving a bundle of cloth into his arms almost dislodging Chekov.

"And shine my shoes," ordered the other throwing a pair of shoes on the pile inches from giving Jim a bloody noise.

"If you do that and this list of chores by the end of the day," said the older one revealing a role of parchment that unraveled all the way to the floor, "Then I will not throw you out on the street."

Jim blinked at them over the folds of fabric and gaudy leather, then his eyes narrowed.

"I'm am Captain of the freaking Enterprise, not bloody Cinderella!" Jim exclaimed shoving the pile at the women forcing them back through the doorway, "Do your own bloody laundry."

Satisfied he shut the door in their startled faces.

"Right well lets get going," Jim said dusting his hands off.

"Right you are captain," Sulu squeaked adjusting his hat as Jim scooped him off the floor settling him on his other shoulder.

"Perhaps we should find some transport," Chekov chirped

"Good idea Chekov," Jim nodded turning towards what looked to be some sort of stable as he exited the kitchen.

The courtyard was not overly large and neither was the stable. Only one horse stood in the stall looking tired and bored. He was a reasonable size for a horse, coat gleaming chestnut and a white blasé on his noise.

"Hey fella," Jim greeted offering his hand for the animal to smell before rubbing it over his noise.

The horse nudged him happily before nipping at Jim's hip.

"Ow dammit," Jim exclaimed jumping backwards as the horse tried to move forwards obviously searching for something.

"Maybe he's looking for a treat?" Sulu suggested in Jim's ear.

"Could be," Jim agreed darting back out of the stable to the apple tree he saw on the way in. Then armed with the biggest juiciest reddest apple he could find he marched back into the stall. He presented it to the horse he decided to call Bitetholomue or Bitey for short. So what if it wasn't very original.

"There you go Bitey," Jim smiled as the chestnut crunched down obviously enjoying his treat. It occurred to Jim then that feeding anyone an apple in a fairy tale might just be a bad idea. But when Bitey didn't keel over he figured it was all right.

"Ok now we need a saddle," Jim decided looking over the timber walls.

"Over here Keptain," Chekov responded launching from his shoulder to hover over a perfectly stacked pile of leather.

"Good work ensign," Jim praised hauling up the saddle and blanket trying to work out the best way to go about saddling a horse.

"Place the blanket on first then the saddle. But make sure you put the blanket up higher on his shoulders. It will slide back when you ride." Sulu informed his ear as he clutched at clothing to keep himself on Jim's shoulder.

"I didn't know you rode," Jim said following Sulu's instructions buckling up the girth, Sulu pointing out the best way to get it tight enough.

"Ok now the bridle right," He stated pulling the lengths of leather and bit of steel from the wall.

"You have to fit the bit in his mouth first then slide the rest of it over his head." The pilot instructed, Jim carefully following them as he nervously fit the bit wary that Bitey might bite him again.

Jim stood back, checking over his work with a satisfied grim, "Done."

"Good work

Captain," Sulu replied as Jim picked him up to place him on the pommel of the saddle.

The captain gripped the reins and lead Bitey from his stall the horse shaking his head in excitement.

"Hey there," Jim smiled rubbing his neck as the entered the courtyard. He didn't need an over excited horse to trampled him when they hadn't even left yet.

"What do you think your doing!" came a screech from the house as the saggy woman stormed towards him.

"I'm going for a ride," Jim tired his most charming smile, which did absolutely nothing.

"If you leave this house don't expect to ever come back, I won't have you!"

"No worries ma'am," Jim grinned swinging into the saddle, "I don't in tend to."

Then with his final farewell he trotted out of the courtyard, Chekov flying beside him and Sulu clinging for his life onto the chestnut mane.

He missed the bright red that took over the woman's face before the whole scene disintegrated as he turned a corner in the road.

FAIRYTALE

"Where to now Keptain?" Chekov question as they paused on a crossroads. One path lend into a never ending distance the other into a forest where the trees grew high and their branches tangle together creating an ominous ceiling over the road. A true fairytale forest.

"I don't know," Jim confessed trying to adjust his seat in the saddle, "but I would love to find some pants. This dress makes riding increasingly uncomfortable."

"You could try them," Sulu said pointed at the two men who had appeared out of the dense forest.

"I could," Jim grinned urging Bitey forwards.

"Excuse me good sirs?" Jim greeted with his best smile as he rode up to them.

"Greeting's good lady," smiled one his build stocky, his thick neck making the bowing of his head slightly awkward as Jim slipped from his saddle.

Jim eyed them cautiously not liking their tone nor their eyes as they shifted over his body with a lecherous glint.

"Mind giving a girl a hand," Jim decided to play the part hoping it would put the men into a false sense of security.

"And what hand would tha' be," answered the one on the left. He stood about two inches taller then his companion and sported a scruffy bearded. He eyes were locked on Jim's chest. Something Jim couldn't fathom, since her was pretty sure he wasn't supporting any breasts. He looked down just to be sure. Nope no breasts. And he bits were still there so he ignored it.

"I need directions, you see I seem to be lost," Jim simpered allowing the man on the right to slide a little closer.

"We can give yay a hand with tha'," Grinned the stocky one hand straying to Jim's hip, "Where ya heading?"

"Where's the nearest town?" Jim questioned shying away as his eyed the swords they carried at their hips calculating the best way for him to get his hands on them.

"We can show ya," grinned the other one crowding forwards.

"I'm sure you could, but I just need a direction," Jim pouted waiting for the right time to move.

"It's that away," stocky gestured behind him absent mindedly as he took in Jim's scent.

The Captain completely disgusted made his move stepping into stocky performing the precise push pull to drop him in a leg sweep as he slid his sword from his scarab.

"Don't even think about it," Jim growled pointed the tip of the shinning blade at the tall ones throat as he tried to assist his companion.

"Yeah don't move," Sulu chimed in banishing his own tiny sword at the man, receiving a started chuckle cut off as Jim pressed the sharpened metal to his skin.

"Now," Jim looked between the man stilled at his sword blade and the other as he stared dazedly up at him from his tumble. He decided on the taller one. He was closer to his size. And he was also still standing.

"Strip," He demanded of the man.

"Ya gotta be kidding," He exclaimed shutting up at the hardened look in blue eyes.

"Do it."

"Ok ok," The tall man said arms up in surrender.

Jim held out his hand as the man finally slipped from the last of his clothes leaving him shivering in his skivvies.

"Thank you," Jim smiled tossing them over his saddle just missing Sulu. Who jumped out of the way to avoid being smothered.

"Watch it," he squeaked scampering further up the horse's mane.

"Sorry," Jim apologized to the mouse sliding back into the saddle sword in hand as he kept an eye on the two ruffians, "Follow me and you'll lose a head, got it."

The ruffians nodded struck dumb as they watched the crazy maiden ride away into the forest.

FAIRYTALE

"Hey Chekov, could you scout ahead for me, I need to find a stream or something. I really don't want to wear these until I've washed them," Jim asked indicating the clothing bundle he had secured onto his saddle, "Don't know where they've been."

"Aye Aye Keptain," Chekov chirped happily launching himself from his perch a top Jim's head.

"So what's the plan now?" Sulu questioned from his spot between Bitey's ears as Jim pulled the horse to a stop.

"I figure we find the closest town and talk to people find out what's going on," Jim said looking around at the never ending trees, "Hopefully those guys gave us good directions."

"Where do you think we are?" The mouse questioned following Jim's gaze around the forest.

"It seems to be some sort of fairytale," Jim shrugged, "That woman back at the house called me Cinderella and you kinda look like that mouse from Narnia except smaller."

"But Cinderella and Narnia are from two complete different eras," Sulu squeaked looking worriedly into the trees, "You don't think we're in the old Grimm tales right, I mean those were pretty gruesome."

"I don't think so," Jim said after a little consideration, "I mean if we are in any I would say we are in the old Disney ones, I mean I don't think you would find any where else that had Cinderella talking to mice and birds."

"True," Sulu nodded nose twitching in a smile, "And that's got to be better, they all have happy endings."

"Yeah," Jim grinned, " Or in the case of Narnia a return trip through a wardrobe."

"Maybe we should look for one of those," Sulu joked looking once again into the trees.

"I found one, I've found one," Chekov flew back towards them landing next to Sulu, "Only a little down the path and a little off the road."

"Lead the way then," Jim said urging Bitey forwards following Chekov as he took flight once again.

Chekov was correct when he said it wasn't far as Jim dismounted to lead Bitey through the trees towards the smell of fresh water and moss.

"Looks good," Jim praised as he surveyed the small clearing, watching the dappled sunlight reflect off the babbling stream.

Soon Jim had a small camp set up and the clothes laid out the dry after he'd given them a good scrub. The 'nice' man he had taken the clothes from had also handed over his travelling pack proving Jim with a small amount of food and flints. He thanked Starfleet for their compulsory survival training as he warmed his hands over the small fire.

He got to the food next braking off small pieces of stiff bread for Sulu and Chekov before adding a little cheese to his.

"This isn't too bad," he decided after a few bites.

"As long as there are no wolves, in Russian there are many wolves in da forests," Chekov commented peaking at his breadcrumbs.

"Well I think we might be safe," Jim smiled settling down, "Best we get a bit of rest while we wait for my clothes."

"Da," the Russian agreed hopping over to nest in Jim's skirt. Sulu did the same curling up beside the bird.

"Riding takes a lot out of you," Jim yawned as his eyes slide closed and the trickle of the stream and Bitey's foraging lulled him to sleep.

FAIRYTALE

Jim jolted awake for the second time that day as a woman's scream ripped through the trees. His eyes caught a flash and he scrambled to his feet in pursuit. Sulu and Chekov toppled to the forest floor dazed by their sudden awakening.

Jim dashed through the trees dodging low branches and avoiding thorn bushes slowing gaining on the red figure in front of him and the grey shadow that followed her.

He put on a desperate burst of speed as he saw the figure toppled over a hidden branch hitting the ground hard. But no matter how fast he went we wasn't going to make it in time as the grey shadow streaked from the trees launching itself towards the prone figure. He could see her throw up her hands in a desperate attempt to ward off the beast. And then blink as it went for her basket instead.

"Uhura!" Jim yelled finally catching a glimpse of the woman's face as her hood fell in her surprise.

"Captain?" Uhura questioned looking to see a man in a dress stumble up to her side, "Why are you wearing a dress?"

"Long story," Jim grinned catching a breath, "Where did you come from?"

"I woke up in a cottage over there," She pointed as she rose to her feet brushing off the dirt and leaves checking her hands for injury.

"Are you ok?" Jim asked eyes checking her over concerned.

"Fine, just a few bruises," Uhura informed him adjusting her cloak, "No thanks to this brute."

They turned to look down at the massive grey wolf with his head currently lost in the wicker basket.

"What's in the basket?" Jim asked as they continued to watch the animal scoff down his dinner.

"Just sandwiches, nothing worth chasing we halfway through the forest for," Uhura grumbled crossing her arms.

"Those good sandwiches are they Scotty," Jim deduced smiling.

Uhura looked confused for a second then her eyes narrow as she wrenched the basket away, "You are in a lot of trouble Mr. Scott," she scolded.

The wolf was sensible enough to look properly chased before he licked the crumbs from his muzzle.

"Keptain, Keptain," Chekov startled them as he finally caught up startling Uhura as a little yellow bird flew at her.

"Chekov?" She questioned looking at Jim for answers.

"Why don't we go back to camp, and we can try and sort this out," He suggested turning back the way he'd come.

Once they reached the clearing by the stream Jim rebuilt the fire and checked his new clothes. They were dry so while Uhura and Scotty got themselves settled he disappeared behind the trees to change. Happy he didn't feel drafty any more he sat beside the fire setting up his discarded dress as a little nest for Sulu and Chekov to share.

"So you have any idea what is going on?" Uhura asked once they were all comfortable.

"It seems," Jim said adding a few more twigs to the fire. "We are in some sort of fairytale land. I'm Cinderella."

Uhura raised her eyebrows as Scotty gave him a wolfish grin, "That explains the dress."

"And Sulu and Chekov seem to be my fury companions." Jim finished Sulu and Chekov nodding along in agreement.

"So that would make me little red riding hood and Scotty here the big bad wolf." She summarized with a little smile, "So then if we're here, where's Spock and the rest of the crew?"

"That I don't know, but hopefully they aren't here and their working on a way to get us out," Jim said eyes following the flickering flames as tried to think of possible solutions to their problem just in case no one was coming.

The group sat for a moment in silence as they contemplated their predicament the lengthening shadows indicating the lateness of the day.

"I'd say its best we stay here for the night," Jim declared standing up sword in hand, "So I'm going to go and collect more firewood."

"Probably best," Uhura answered gaining her feet as well, "I'll help."

Scotty shuffled closer to the fire content to stay where he was, the other two being too small to help got themselves comfy ready for the night ahead.

"So you really think Spock's back on the Enterprise trying to fix this?" Uhura asked as they got to work.

Jim used his sword to cut branches from the trees, while the communications officer gathered it up into a pile ready to take back to camp.

"I don't really know, but he isn't here so that would be the most logical conclusion" he said smiling at his little joke.

"Crap, ow!" Jim yelled out as the blade completely unfit for chopping wood slid across the branch slicing into his hand.

"Captain!" Uhura rushed to his side as Jim dropped the sword to stem the bleeding.

"Wish Bones was here," Jim muttered as Uhura ripped strips from her cloak to bandage the bleed.

"This looks pretty deep," Uhura said taking a look at the injury for herself, we're gonna need to clean it before I put the bandages on, you might have wood chips in it."

"Yeah," Jim managed biting his lip as Uhura dabbed at the blood dripping from his hand.

The drops hit the earth with a slash the instant a bright light filled the forest starving off the coming twilight.

In the light a figure appeared hovering above the ground. Jim squinting his eyes trying to get a look.

"The hell Jim what am I doing here, and what the hell am I wearing," can the southern drawl Jim couldn't miss.

"Bones," He grinned finally able to get a look at his CMO as the light faded to a bearable level.

"What have you managed to get yourself into this time," McCoy grumbled feet finally hitting the ground as he strode over to his captain. Seeing the bleeding hand he dragged Jim towards him to get a proper look.

"How did you manage that?" he asked inspecting the cut.

"I was chopping wood, with a sword," Jim confessed sheepishly crying out in pain as the Doctor prodded the cut.

"Well that was stupid," he said searching in his dashing blue robes for some sort of hypo or tricorder. He found instead a long thin piece of wood.

Bones just looked at it and a spark flashed out of the end landing on Jim's hand. The cut healed instantly the blood disappearing. The three of them stared at it in shock.

"Please tell me this isn't a magic wand, crazy psycho Romulins I can deal with magic is pushing it," McCoy grouched holding the thing out in front of him as if it were radio active.

"Ah come on Bones magic can be cool," Jim grinned flexing his newly healed hand.

"If your Cinderella then Doctor McCoy with a magic wand makes him your fairy godmother," Uhura grinned pointing between the two.

"No way," Jim grinned wider, "I have a fairy godmother."

"Say that again and I'll turn you into a toad," McCoy threatened, "Where the hell are we anyway?"

"Some sort of Fairytale land," Jim shrugged, "We're trying to work it out."

"Great so we're stuck here." The doctor grumbled.

"Pretty much," Jim nodded, "Lets get back to camp, we can be warm by the fire while you rant about our predicament."

"Sounds good to me." Uhura smiled collecting the wood they had already chopped.

Jim picked up the rest of the pile and lead them back through the trees.

"Hey guys," He called out, "Look who we found."

"Doctor," Sulu squeaked from his and Chekov's nest as the man entered the clearing behind Jim.

Scotty tail thumped against the ground in greeting.

The doctor blinked down at the three animals, "What's next a white rabbit?"

"Hopefully not, Alice in wonderland was pretty crazy and I would not want to meet the red queen," Jim shivered placing the wood next to the fire.

"So what are we doing here exactly?" McCoy asked finding a place by the fire.

"Don't know?" Uhura answered sitting down beside him, her bundle of wood she added to the pile.

"Hang on so we are trapped in some sort of.." The doctor was cut off as the wand he hid up his sleeve started blinking at him, "What the hell?"

"I think it wants you to use it," Jim said staring at it in curiosity.

"Like hell I'm gonna use it, " McCoy growled pulling it out tentatively.

"Well you are supposed to be Cinderella Captain and he's your godmother," McCoy glared at the woman for that comment, "So maybe there's a ball to go to?"

"A Ball," Chekov chirped up excited, "That would be fun."

"I suppose it would make sense," Jim decided weighing the options, "Maybe it's a way to get out of here any way. We should go," Jim stop brushing off his pants.

"And how we gonna get there?" McCoy asked standing up with him.

"Well you can make a carriage and Bitey here can pull it," Jim smiled throwing a thumb over his shoulder to indicate the tethered horse happily grazing behind him.

"I ain't using the wand," The doctor told him eyes narrowed.

"Then let me use it," Jim said holding out his hand expectantly.

McCoy just looked at him, "Fine I'll do it," he grumbled dreading the thought of what Jim would do with a magic wand, "Are there any special words or something?" he asked banishing the wand in front of him.

"I think you might need a medium, didn't the story use a pumpkin?" Uhura added in trying to help.

"Yeah true, Um," Jim said looking around for something spotting a fairly round rock on the edge of the stream, "How about that rock?"

"It'll do," McCoy agreed and jabbed the wand at it. Nothing happened, "Thing is busted," he said tapping it against his palm to see if it would do anything.

"Maybe you have to say something," Chekov chirped taking flight to land on the doctor's shoulder the over see the process.

"Yeah but what do I say?" The doctor questioned.

"Abracadabra?" Sulu squeaked from his little nest.

"That'll do," McCoy decided jabbing the wand at the rock thinking car as he said "Abracadabra."

Miraculously they watched at the Rock shifted growing larger and forming a shape. The form slowly came together revealing an old style silver Mustang convertible complete with leather seats.

"I thought I said Carriage," Jim frowned looking it over.

"Yeah like I would make a carriage when I can just make a car," McCoy shook his head, "I did want a hover car thou."

"Beggars can't be choosers," Jim grinned striding over to it feeling the leather under his hand, "So what next?"

"I have a question," Uhura spoke up, "How exactly are we going to get it out of here, we can't exactly drive through trees."

"The road's just over there," Jim pointed, "We only need to get it through a few trees and I think Bones can help us out with that."

"Sure, make me use the wand again," McCoy grumbled.

"You think you can make the guys human again, your supposed to be able to do that right," Jim said as the three animal officers looked on.

"I can try," McCoy shrugged pointing his wand as Sulu, "Mouse first then, Abracadabra."

Sulu fidgeted for a moment before he sprouted from the fold of fabric standing his usual height and sporting a dashing suit.

"Thank you Doctor, being a mouse was getting old," Sulu said his voice back to normal as he checked himself over.

Scotty looked up expectantly as McCoy turned to him and did the same thing. As before Scotty shot up finishing up with a very nice fur lined coat.

"Aye thank ye doctor, good ta be able to talk again," Scotty grinned then turned to Uhura looking apologetic, "I'm sorry Las for chasen you just couldn't help myself the smell of the sandwiches was just too overwhelming."

"I think I can forgive you Scotty, just try not to do it again," Uhura smiled.

"That I won't," Scotty agreed.

"Hey what a bout me," Chekov chirped swooping down from the doctors shoulder.

"I guess I can do you too," McCoy grumbled pointing his wand at the bird.

Chekov appeared the same way his jacket flickering gold in the firelight, "Very nice," he smiled looking himself over.

"Ok guess its your turn my lady," McCoy smiled at Uhura, "Can't have you going to the ball looking like that."

"Do your worst," She smiled feeling all tingly as the magic passed over her. The men in the clearing look on in aw as she a flowing red dress appeared upon her. The skirt flared out just right with a split at the side showing just the right amount of leg.

"You look stunning," McCoy smiled.

"So the wand is good for something," Uhura smiled smoothing down her skirt.

"Your turn Jim," he grinned turning to his Captain.

"No thanks Bones I'm fine as is," Jim said

"Ahh come on lad, you gotta look ya best too," Scotty grinned moving to stand beside Uhura

"Fine," Jim huffed not being bother to fight, "Just don't over do it alright."

"I dunno what you're gonna get, I don't have much control over this," McCoy told him pointing the wand at Jim chest and uttering the magic words.

Jim felt the same tingling as magical fabric draped around. McCoy burst out laughing as he got a good look.

"You have got to be freaking kidding me," Jim exclaimed looking down a the sparkling golden gown he now found himself in, the sword once at his hip now a glittering sash, "Seriously I just changed into pants."

"Well you are Cinderella," Uhura managed before the giggles took over, the others following suit.

"Great now I get to wear a gown," Jim sighed moving towards the car, "Well we may as well go."

"We better get to the ball," Chekov grinned managing to steam his laughter enough to jump into the back seat.

"Dammit," Jim growled in his attempt to squish the entire skirt into the drivers seat.

"Maybe I should drive," McCoy grinned pushing Jim towards the passenger seat as Scotty escorted Uhura into the back.

"We all going to fit?" Sulu said standing to the side seeing no seats free.

"Just squish in somewhere," Jim replied still trying to stuff the excessive amounts of chiffon into the car.

"All in there Jim," McCoy smiled as he turned the engine over, Sulu managing to slide in next to Chekov.

"Mostly," Jim deciding shutting the door ignoring the edge of the skirt that was caught, "See ya Bitey," He yelled the horse taking no notice of them as the trees parted and McCoy drove them out of the forest onto the road.

"Which way?" he asked.

"That way," Jim pointed in the opposite direction he had come earlier that day.

"Off we go then," McCoy grinned setting the gears as they cruised towards what they hoped would be a smashing party.

FAIRYTALE

They didn't have too much of a problem finding the palace as they reached the town. It stood looming over it, gleaming like a heavenly beacon against the inky black sky, the turrets almost disappearing into the stars.

Reaching the gates they didn't have much trouble getting in with the streams of the invited decked out in gorgeous flowing gowns and handsome suits. The valet at the huge sweeping entrance steps wasn't sure what to make of the mustang but McCoy offered to park it out of the way for him, not ready to give up driving it just yet.

"So any suggestions as to where to go to now?" Jim asked his crew as they made their way up the stairs. His question was mostly to distract himself from the pain of walking. Who ever decided if was a good idea not only to invent high heels but also make them from freaking glass obviously never intended to wear them. Lucky bugger.

"I suppose we should find the prince so you can fall desperately in love with him," Uhura smiled. She made walking in heels look way too easy.

"Yeah like that's going to happen," Jim grumbled as they finally made it to the top of the stairs and into the entrance hall.

"Still finding the prince sounds like a good idea," Sulu said, "If we can end this fairytale maybe then we can get out of it."

"That's a great idea Sulu," Chekov dimpled as he smiled then paused, "But doesn't that mean the Keptain will have to marry the prince."

"That is one step too far," Jim replied not just referring to the marriage thing.

In front of them the entrance hall swept up another almost never-ending grand staircase and by the stream of the crowd, that was the direction they had to go.

"My feet already hurt," Jim grumbled reluctantly following the rest to the base of the first step.

"No one ever said beauty wasn't painful," Uhura teased.

"Don't see why it can't be," Jim grumbled deciding what he should do. Then it hit him. His dress was long enough. Surely no one would notice if he just didn't wear the stupid things. Decision made he darted off to the side and slipped the torture devices from his feet. Shoving them in a shadowed corner, he was satisfied they wouldn't be too obvious or in the way.

"To the Ball," Jim announced as the rest of the crew fell into step behind him trying not to giggle.

The ballroom as far as Jim could tell was bigger then the whole Enterprise. And considering his ship could transport up to 1000 people had extensive laboratories and recreational facilities that was bigger the huge.

"So finding the prince is top priority," Jim switched to captain mode, "We should span out check every corner."

Then Uhura tapped him on the shoulder pointing across the room towards some sort of raise dais.

Their eyes met and recognition sparked, "You have got to be screwing with me, Spock's prince charming. Spock gets to be the dashing male lead and I'm in a dress. I swear who ever is doing this is nuts. Who makes the first officer the prince and the Captain. The Captain of the flagship I might add, Cinderella. I should be the prince I'm the charming one." Jim ranted as Spock moved towards them.

"Well obviously they thought you were prettier," McCoy chuckled placing a calming hand on Jim's shoulder.

"Not helping Bones," Jim growled trying not to blush bright red as Spock reached them and looked him up and down, his eyebrow rising in question.

"May I ask why you are presently wearing a dress Captain?" He asked nodding to greet the others.

"Long story," Jim huffed taking in Spock's outfit, and the ceremonial sword at his hip "You're looking dashing tonight Commander."

"If you find it pleasing to be being restricted in a formally fitting uniform," Spock replied eyes twinkling just slightly.

"You try wearing a dress," Jim countered trying to flatten the folds of fabric around him.

"I do not think it would be a productive use of my time," Spock said face blank, betrayed only by the small amused inflection in his voice.

"Perhaps we should work out why it is we are here?" Uhura asked stepping between the banter, "And find a way out of it."

"Sounds like a great idea, best we find a quiet corner too.." McCoy agreed cut off as ethereal music filled the hall and couples took to the floor pushing them forwards into the mass.

McCoy, Sulu and Chekov were swept away by eager grabby women as Scotty was forced towards Uhura. He did the only gentlemanly thing and lead her into a waltz.

"Ow," Spock caught Jim as he jumped back to avoid his feet being stepped on.

"It seems the only way to maneuver through the crowd is to engage with it," Spock summarized as their attempts at forcing their way through it failed.

"You mean dance don't you," Jim replied voice flat as he was once again pushed into Spock's chest.

"It would seem the most logical thing to do at this time," Spock confirmed reaching to grasp the Captain's arms to steady him.

"Right so who leads," Jim asked trying to remember those dance classes he was forced into for high school drama.

Spock just looked at him, the look in his eyes the one Jim always got when he asked a stupid question, and his eyes narrowed, "Just because I'm in a dress does not mean I have to be the girl."

"I merely assumed I would lead due to my height advantage," Spock answered in an attempt to explain himself without insulting his Captain.

"Slight height advantage," Jim grumbled as he allowed Spock to pull him into the first step.

"Perhaps if you would relax and allow me the lead you would not suffer such discomfort," Spock lips twitched as Jim went in the wrong direction and got his foot stepped on.

"Be quiet, I've hardly ever danced like this," Jim exclaimed pulling his foot back once again to avoid his toes being squished, "And isn't this awkward for you considering the whole Vulcan's kiss with your hands," He mentioned trying to turn the awkward situation on Spock.

"That is a common misconception," Spock replied voice steady as usual as he lead Jim into a turn, "It that was the cause a Vulcan would kiss everything he or she were to touch."

"True," Jim agreed finally finding his rhythm, "So how do Vulcan's kiss?"

"It is simply the touching of the index finger and the middle finger between those that wish to conveyor affection for the other recipient," Spock explained shifting them around another dancing couple.

"That simple huh," Jim smiled as they fell into a comfortable silence the dance continuing.

Finally the dance came to an end and they were able to remove themselves from the crowd. The others however were not so easy to find.

"Perhaps it is best we retreat for the moment, return for the other when we have decided on a base of action," Spock suggested their backs a wall.

"Sounds like a plan," Jim nodded leading them outside, very much disliking being trapped amongst all the people.

The air outside was fresh and clean, a light breeze pressing it to their faces as they stepped out on to a balcony over looking a vast garden shimmering with light.

"This is much better," Jim sighed moving to the balustrade taking a deep breath of air into his lungs.

"I concur," Spock agreed moving to stand beside him, "What has occurred to you since you woke up in this strange reality?"

Jim shrugged and summarized everything that had happened from that morning. From the crazy women trying to make him do chores, to the ruffians, how he had found Scotty and Uhura and that McCoy seemed to be his fairy godmother, "How bout you?"

"A most intriguing adventure," Spock commented, "My day has not been so eventful. I woke up within a room of this palace and was informed that I must prepare for a ball that's purpose was to find myself a wife. I decided it was prudent to allow the façade while a discovered more about my predicament."

"You discover anything?" Jim asked curious.

"Not of a particularly interesting or useful nature no," Spock confessed, "It was only until this evening that I saw you that I was able to deduce more from out situation."

"And what might those deductions be Mr. Spock," Jim smiled looking up as his as he leaned against the railings.

"This is some form of constructed world. The only crew that are here are those that were present on the bridge from the last memory I can access before we awoke here." Spock stated going through his findings, "It is likely that what ever this maybe, it has not affected the rest of the Enterprise."

"Well that's a relief," Jim sighed looking back over the garden, "Do you remember if we were near any planets when this all happened, my memories are a little fuzzy. The most I can remember is starting my shift."

"Affirmative Captain," Spock nodded eyes fixed on Jim's profile, "We came within the vicinity of some sort of unidentified planet that was not present on our star charts."

"So we might be on that planet now?" Jim queried.

"That would be the most logical hypothesis," Spock confirmed.

"So the best course of action would be to locate a communications device, and attempt contact with the Enterprise," Jim decided pushing off the railing and straightened his skirt.

"In such a primitive time that maybe difficult," Spock pointed out.

"True, but we could get McCoy to just magic us one. He managed a car after all," Jim shrugged moving to head back inside.

"It would not be so unwise to try," Spock nodded.

Their progress was stopped however as the clock chimed, its bells carried on the winds.

"It's 12 o'clock already," Jim frowned feeling a tickling across his skin.

"Midnight," Spock reiterated, "Is that not the time most common for spells within this form of story supposed to cease?"

Jim shivered as the clock struck the twelfth time, his dress melting back to his former clothing.

"Pants are the worlds best invention," Jim exclaimed finally happy to be in something he felt comfortable in.

"We best find the others to confirm their predicament. Most prudently the three that were animals before the spell was cast." Spock suggested once more moving to return inside.

"It's ok Spock, we're here," Uhura yelled out as they appeared on the balcony. Scotty at her heels back to his wolfish self, Sulu and Chekov happily sitting on her shoulders. McCoy trailed behind, "We thought this might happen so we prepared for it," She smiled.

"Good to know," Jim grinned back glad his crew was safe.

"NO, NO, NO," shouted a voice cutting off their happy reunion, "You're doing it all wrong!"

They all turned to stare at the man dressed in all the palace finery storming towards them, red splotches forming on his furious face.

"You're supposed to run away!" He exclaimed pointing at Jim, "Your not supposed to want him to see you in those clothes!"

"And what's wrong with my clothes?" Jim asked a little affronted.

"They're rags!," He yelled arms flying out to point at Jim's bare feet, "And your not even wearing your glass slippers, where are your slippers?!"

"They were uncomfortable," Jim replied slightly amused, "But if you want them they're down stairs."

"Are you the one that brought us here?" Spock asked stopping his Captain from patronizing the man further.

"You don't play fair," was the man's reply, "You don't do anything right!"

"What is it we are supposed to be doing exactly?" Jim questioned becoming serious.

"Your supposed to be Cinderella your supposed to work for your step-mother and then go to the ball and marry the prince," He almost screamed, "You're the damsel your not supposed to yell in their faces and take down bandits."

"I am no damsel," Jim retorted annoyed, "What ever made you think that is beyond me, but I am the Captain of the USS Enterprise. A ship, which we would like to return to. So if you are the one that brought us here, I will ask you nicely to send us back."

"No, I made you a damsel you will be a damsel and you can't stop me," The man stamped his foot is foot on the ground and puffed out his cheeks making him look like a toddler a little too big for his britches.

Jim narrows his eyes hand going to the sword now back at his hip, "I would like to see you try."

"You will be put in a tower and he will save you," The man decided clicking his fingers. And before them appeared a beast of nightmares, "From a dragon."

The Starfleet members stared up at the towering monster, its scales black as pitch cascading down its muscular body from thick ridge spikes. Its teeth glistened in the lights streaming from the ballroom before its roar pierced the once peaceful night.

Their shock was broken by the stream of flame coming from its mouth setting the garden below on fire.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me!" McCoy yelled jumping out of the way of a powerful swing from its clawed hand.

"Thou your language leaves much for improvement, for once Doctor I am in full agreement," Spock replied drawing his sword as Jim did the same.

The dragon roared again almost in amusement spying the, to him shinny tooth picks.

"I don't think these are going to be enough," Jim yelled as he swiped his sword at the grabby paw.

"Fighting is useless," yelled the crazy man standing to the side quietly amused by their antics.

"Yeah well we'll try anyway," Jim shouted back managing to take off a finger, only problem this just made the Dragon angrier.

"Holy Shit," Jim exclaimed as the dragon managed to wrap its good hand around his waist pulling him into the air.

"Captain!" yelled Spock in anguish as the Dragon powerful wings opened to ready its flight.

Jim was so very thankful Uhura had the best aim in Starfleet, and thou he had no idea where she got the bow and arrow from he didn't complain when a shaft hit home forcing the dragon to drop him.

"Thanks Lieutenant," he yelled her way scooping up his dropped sword.

"No problem," she saluted before firing off another volley of arrows.

He spotted Chekov dive-bombing the beast sharp little craws aiming for its eyes, distracting it as Scotty darted in and out nipping at its hide. Sulu he caught sight of only by luck as the tiny mouse scampered up the thing's side looking for any weakness to sink his little sword into.

"We need a plan," he yelled getting Spock's attention as they fended off attacks.

"Stop this at once," scolded another voice out of nowhere as Jim rolled out of the way of another attempt to sweep him from the ground.

"We did not allow you this planet for this purpose," Scold another more male voice.

"But you promised," the mans voice was directed at a sudden glow on the horizon, "You said I could play."

Jim and the others stare on awe and confusion, the dragon frozen for the moment.

"We did, but you have broken yours," the female voice came once again, "Did we not teach you to respect others, treat your pets well."

"But they weren't doing what I wanted, they weren't playing right, I had to. I had to make them do it right," the man whined.

"That is no excuse," boomed the male voice.

"But I," tried the man indignation faltering.

"You will come home this instant," the female voice ordered voice stern.

"No I won't," the man shook his head hands tightening into fists, "I won't, I won't I won't."

"You will and I will here no further argument," The female voices pitch lowered, more scary then any shout.

"But I don't wanna," the man pouted as he slowly vanished into the air, the light brightening in the horizon as he did so.

Jim blinked exchanging a confused look with his crew.

"We apologize for our son's conduct," came the female voice again softer this time, "We had thought he had been taught better. He will be punished accordingly."

"Um That's good," Jim replied warily.

"We will return you to your ship, and your companions back to how they should be," the male voice told them as the palace blinked out of existence, "We will not allow this to happen in future." Were his final words as the Enterprise bridge appeared around them, their uniforms and their human forms returned.

The replacement bridge crews frantic signally and data analysis stilted the moment they appeared, all present very confused at the events of the day, but all very relieved everything seemed to be back the way it should be.

Jim rubbed at his forehead sharing a bemused look with Spock as they were greeted warmly by their crew, he was really dreading explaining to Starfleet why they were late in delivering supplies to Colony Beta VI. But for now he was just glad to be back taking command of the Enterprise once more.

FAIRYTALE

AN: 10 points to anyone who can guess the TOS episode that was the inspiration for this fic. :D

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